ST LOUIS, MO - (Begin Bud Light theme music)

Announcer: Bud Light Presents, "Real Men of Genius"

Backup singer: Reaaaaal Men Of Genius

Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional, Irrational UK Fan.

Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational UK Faaaaaan!

Announcer: Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking.

Backup singer: Why aren't we number one?

Announcer: You scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Cats lose to a grossly inferior opponent.

Backup singer: Neeeeeed to hire Billy Donovannnnn!

Announcer: Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of championships won 20 years before you were born.

Backup singer: Those were the daaaaaays!

Announcer: You will point out that you have more wins than any other program, as though that is relevant to the current season.

Backup singer: Been playing since the 1880ssssss!

Announcer: Go on, ignore that loss to your archrival in the regular season finale for the 6th consecutive time in a row, and continue to believe that you'll defeat your first round opponent with striking ease.

Backup singer: We'll still whoop that ### and win by thirteeeeeeey!

Announcer: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year.

Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational UK Fannnnnnn!

Anheiser-Busch, St Louis, Missouri